this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
