please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
