yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
