He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
