i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
