So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
