You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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