I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
