The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Found your dick twin last night
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
