that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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