The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
