We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
