she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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