It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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