I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
a search helicopter?!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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