Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
