I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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