Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
