Non-Jews are for practice
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
