i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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