I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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