My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
