I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
