Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
