I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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