she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
