The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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