i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
