Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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