I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
