Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
