It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
