Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
