well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
