So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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