I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
