Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
