so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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