The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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