im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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