I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
