I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
