no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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