please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
