I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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