Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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