when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
