Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
