Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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