Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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