Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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