Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize