No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I lost the right to judge tonight
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
