I want to walk on stilts...naked
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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