the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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