Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize