Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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