I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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