I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
