I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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