I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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