he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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