Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I smell like Dick and happiness
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