I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
