Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
