woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
