dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just invented taco cereal.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
